Postpartum Rage: Why It Happens and What It Really Means

You’re Not “Crazy.” Postpartum Rage Is More Common Than You Think.

If you’re a new mom who finds yourself snapping, yelling, or feeling intense irritation over things that never used to bother you, you’re not alone — and you’re not doing anything wrong.

Postpartum rage is one of the most misunderstood symptoms in the perinatal period. Many parents expect tears, anxiety, or sadness… but no one warns them about the sudden rush of anger that feels out of proportion to the moment.

And the truth is: postpartum rage is usually a sign of something deeper — not a reflection of who you are as a parent.

What Is Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage is intense anger, irritability, or frustration that happens during pregnancy or after birth. It can show up as:

• Snapping at your partner

• Feeling overwhelmed by noise or mess

• Irritation toward the baby (even if you feel guilty about it)

• Rage that seems to “come out of nowhere”

• Feeling overstimulated and ready to explode

• Slamming doors, crying out of anger, or needing to escape

  
  

Most parents say the anger feels bigger than the situation — like they go from calm to furious in seconds.

This doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. It means your nervous system is overwhelmed.

Why Does Postpartum Rage Happen?

1. Hormones are shifting rapidly

Estrogen and progesterone drop dramatically after birth. These fluctuations can significantly affect mood regulation, stress tolerance, and emotional stability.

2. Chronic sleep deprivation

Sleep loss affects the part of your brain responsible for emotional regulation. When you’re exhausted, things feel louder, messier, and harder to tolerate.

3. The mental load of motherhood

Keeping track of feedings, naps, schedules, diapers, meals, appointments — all while healing physically — is a massive cognitive burden. Anger often peaks when the mental load becomes too heavy.

4. Unmet needs and lack of support

Many moms feel angry when they’re trying to do everything alone. Rage can be a signal that you don’t have the help you deserve.

5. Past trauma or high anxiety

Birth trauma, previous losses, medical fears, or perfectionism can make the postpartum period feel especially triggering.Your window of tolerance becomes smaller — and anger becomes the default reaction.

6. Overstimulation

Crying, constant touching, noise, clutter, and decision fatigue can push your sensory system into overload.

Postpartum Rage Is Not Your Personality — It’s a Nervous System Response

When you’re in survival mode, your nervous system shifts into fight-or-flight. For many moms, “fight” looks like irritability, snapping, or yelling.

You’re not choosing rage — your body is trying to cope.

Signs Your Postpartum Rage Is a Signal to Get Support

You might benefit from therapy if you’re noticing:

• Rage that feels uncontrollable

• Frequent yelling or emotional outbursts

• Feeling guilty, ashamed, or confused after getting angry

• Anger that impacts your relationship or daily functioning

• Rage paired with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or sadness

• Feeling like you “don’t recognize yourself”

  
  

How EMDR Can Help With Postpartum Rage

As an EMDR-trained perinatal therapist, I often see rage connected to:

• Birth experiences that felt frightening or out of control

• Medical trauma

• Childhood beliefs like “I have to do everything myself,” or “I’m failing”

• Feeling unsupported or judged

• The fear of not being a good enough parent

EMDR helps calm the nervous system, rewrite old beliefs, and reduce reactive emotional responses — so the anger no longer feels explosive or overwhelming.

What You Can Do Now to Ease Postpartum Rage

You deserve relief. Here are practical steps that help clients quickly:

1. Name it and normalize it

Just understanding that “this is postpartum rage” can reduce shame and help you feel more in control.

2. Give yourself space when possible

Step into the bathroom, step outside, or put the baby somewhere safe for a minute. A few deep breaths or even 30 seconds of quiet can reset your system.

3. Lower the mental load

Ask your partner or support person to take over one recurring task (bottles, bedtime, morning routine).Taking one thing off your plate matters.

4. Track your triggers

Are you more irritable when you’re hungry? Overtired? Touched out?Patterns help you prepare and adjust.

5. Seek support early

Talking with a perinatal therapist can help you understand the root of the anger, calm your nervous system, and reduce guilt.

You Are Not Alone — And You Don’t Have to Feel This Way Forever

Postpartum rage is a sign that your body is overwhelmed, not that you’re failing. With the right support, most parents see significant relief in a short time.

If you’re in Maryland and looking for a place to unpack what you’re feeling, process the emotional load of motherhood, or explore EMDR for postpartum anxiety or trauma, I’m here to help.